I tried to post some thoughts a few weeks back, actually...however, due to a flub-up on my part, they never reached the Net. Blast.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is the governor of CA. The movie comes out on DVD in two years, tops.

All jokes aside, congrats on getting someone other than a career political hack in government. Now, to get Vanna White as mayor of Charleston....

= =

And now, the main event.

The GIJoe Conundrum.

[cue GIJoe TV series theme]

GIJoe: The code name for America's daring, highly-trained special mission force.

Its mission: To defend human freedom against...

COBRA: A ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world.

[end theme]

This is what the viewers have been told by the announcer for as long as the series aired, through seasonal changes and even Sergeant Slaughter.

[now, cue GIJoe Movie theme]

But...! After the best animated montage to ever grace a movie based on a SatAM cartoon, a new enemy surfaces.

The enemy that was behind COBRA all along...the enemy that gave Dr. Mindbender the idea of Serpentor...the enemy that sent Cobra Commander to take over the world.

The name of this enemy? Cobra-la, a race of ancient snake people. And their objective was not to rule the world at all, but to cast it back into the smoldering heat of the Mesozoic era, that they alone may thrive.

= =

You ask--and you're within your rights to do so--you ask what does this have to do with the Real World(outside MTV).

I'm pointing out a curious correlation between our Reagan-era cartoon and the absurd situation of this age. The simple fact is: I'm an innocent bystander in the middle of a variant of GIJoe the Movie.

That, in essence, is the GIJoe Conundrum.

What we've (we as in "the West")been told about terrorism: It's [insert crappy ME terror org here], a ruthless terrorist organization determined to purge the world of their perceived infidels.

But...! That ain't the half of it. It's not Al-Qaida, Hamas, Hesbollah, Islamic Jihad, Fatah, the Wahhabis, or any of these other arms of "COBRA". Because we all know Cobie keeps getting away to fight another day. [or in the case of Ya'suh Arabfat, clinging to life in the faint hope of frustrating angry Israelis who tire of seeing him live.]

The enemy is Islam, and Allah is the enemy.

Now, now: don't give me that lecturing stare. I, too, thought that Islam was one of those religions manipulated by the wicked for their selfish ends.

Not so. Buddhism, Shinto, Hindu, Judaism, and Christianity(saving the best for first and last :D) are all faiths that have been mangled by the uncircumcised in heart to do evil. As have the myriad forms of secularism: Marxism, Communism, Humanism, Socialism. Wicked people, absent a change of heart and mind, will remain thus.

However, these beliefs' core doctrines will contradict the actual goings-on of the clergy. The most notable example of this, combined with the latest communications technology at the time; ignited the Protestant Reformation, ended the Inquisition, caused the Catholic Counterreformation, and created the Jesuits. All of this, because of one questioning cleric and the printing press.

Oh, the religious authorities tried to suppress his ideas, but they were the ones contradicting the holy writ of the doctrine they were supposed to teach.

Contradiction. To err, after all, is human. Humans tend to sin, hence the need for God. [again, I speak as a Western Protestant/Western Roman Catholic monotheist.] Atheists--the real ones, not those self-absorbed whiners who think God has to answer their questions to their liking--most likely say to themselves: "To err is human. Deal."

The Western world makes their decisions and deals with the consequences. We take a look in the mirror and try to be better than we are each and every day. Some rely on logic, others on God, yet more on the gods, and some in the "West" on a little assist from their ancestors. [because to our enemy, even young Ashitaka Satoshi is infidel trash. heck, the secular wignut raised in this atmosphere thought Tom and Jerry cartoons were too violent--after ordering the deaths of millions....] Because we fall short of the glory of God, every day.

Faith is in human nature. We're indoctrinated from cradle to grave to believe many different things. The Easter Bunny. Santa. The Tooth Fairy. The Boogieman. Transformers. The Mario Brothers. The Thundercats.

The above are quite false, except Santa. (he EXISTED.) But we suspend our disbelief at the very least in order to indulge in fantasies.

Writers like Bob Kane and Bill Finger weaved a tale long ago about a man who lost his parents to violent crime when he was a child; a man who swore to dedicating his life to fighting crime, that what happened to him never happened to anyone else. A mortal, with all the attendant weaknesses of human nature, nevertheless drew on the strengths of human nature and overcame darkness daily.

Unbelievable? Of course! But after nearly seventy years, we still suck it up. This same mortal man fights alongside several aliens, an Amazon, a man entrusted with godlike powers, and a mortal Mercury--as their equal.

Want another example of disbelief suspension? A man named Stan writes a story about a young nerd bitten by a radioactive spider...who is then imbued with the powers and nature of that spider. At first, the youth uses his newfound gifts for fame and fortune; but one fatal day, said youth learns a lesson: "With great power comes great responsibility."

Daily we in the West suspend disbelief to read a comic, to watch TV; even to sometimes read the New York Times. :b

So it doesn't surprise me at all that ME Muslims have strong beliefs. They cling to Islam, because it's all they have.

Do you think for a second that if a Saudi eight-year old had cartoons and Barbies with pink Volkswagens to busy herself with that she would entertain fantasies of a righteous afterlife with Allah?

If a Yemeni teen were exposed to the marketplace of ideas, and compared Islam to other faiths, wouldn't a question begin to form in his head?

Here's my question: where's the contradiction?

Mohammed was a louse. A grade-A louse. Married a six-year old, and consummated the union when the girl was nine. The whole philosophy, as I stated earlier, centers on lust fulfillment. Virgins or raisins--either one satiates a carnal need.

Lies, bloodshed. (frustration mounts....)

And how do women fare?

Don't let Sha-whatever Ali and her badly-formatted self-help Guides to Blackmen and Blackwomen fool you.

Let me try another tack: Japanese men tend to regard their women as puppies(which must irritate the women to no end). Muslim men treat their women as mongrels to be abused, enslaved, and euthanized at the males' pleasure.

= =

If Malcolm X himself were to return to life, and witness what his chosen religion of peace had been doing for a good thirty years; I'm not sure of what he'd do. But since he was an American, I can hope that he'd at least look in the mirror.

Islam has no hope of a Martin Luther. If one could be found, the religion has no time to hear his questions(if they didn't squelch questions).

Because the GIJoe Conundrum hasn't fully realized itself in our minds. We in the West are still operating under TV series logic, thinking we have to beat back COBRA. Like Lieutenant Falcon in the Movie, we're going to fool around until Serpentor kills Duke.

Only unlike the Movie--which was altered because of Optimus Prime--we won't have someone telling us that "Duke" is in a coma. Like the Towers, our Duke will be gone forever.

Pray for our president, the president of the United States. Pray that he doesn't end up like Lincoln or Kennedy for being on the right end of history, but that he serves his term and dies at home.

I say this not only because I don't want Dubyatron dying like Duke, but because I don't want the ME other than Iraq, Afghanistan, and Israel to become a pool of nuclear glass. If Islam's practitioners kill our president, they're dead meat. The Sage Page will breath out fiery reminders of Hiroshima and Nagasaki--and he hates Dubyatron. I can only imagine what condemnations will come from bloggers like Whittle and Den Beste; or the furor from Little Green Footballs.

No one would want to stand in our way at that point. NO ONE.

= = =

As we read between the lines...

GIJoe: The code name for America's daring, highly-trained special mission force.

** also known as the US Armed Forces **

Its mission: To defend human freedom against...

** or: to protect our homes and secure human freedom from... **

COBRA: A ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world.

** ISLAM: see COBRA. Or rather, Cobra-la. **

...we find life mimicking art.

A scary thought, finding that COBRA-LA is unleashed on the earth; like the Pastmaster(I know; another cartoon), eager to send us back to the Dark Ages.

But now we know. And knowing is half the battle. But before we chant "GIJoe", we have to ask ourselves: "What do we do about the other half?"

-- yo joe.